Problems with New York Support and Collections

This weekend, I went to use my debit card, and found that despite the fact that I had more than enough money in the bank, the transactions were returning insufficient funds. After contacting my bank, I learned that the NYS support collections unit had placed a hold on my account. For double the money I owed. Yes, I do owe the money, and it is probably my fault that the hold was placed. This money stems from birthing expenses since my ex-wife and I wern't married when my daughter was born, not back child support. My complaint is the way that non-custodial parents are treated, the steps that were not taken to avoid this, as well as the problems that it causes.

First of all, the amount of money held in my account is double what I actually owe. From what I gather this is what normally occurs when a hold is place, bank automatically holds double. Why I don't know. When I offered to release the money to them, they told me that they could put in a request, but it would take up to 29 days. I don't have 29 days.

Secondly, very little was done to remedy whatever missunderstanding occurred. I never received a letter nor a phone call notifying me that there was a problem. According to someone who I talked to the last time this happened, this is because all non-custodial parents are assumed to be deadbeats. I for one, am not a deadbeat dad, and I am being unfairly DESCRIMINATED against. On top of that, whomever placed the hold on my account without attempting to contact me never considered the consecquences of that action. For at least 3 months out of the last year, I have had my daughter 100% of the time while her mother runs around, and leaves her behind rather than sticking around to take care of her as a custodial parent should. Now, Thanks to the very laws that are supposed to protect her, I am going to have to scrounge for money to buy food to feed her until I get my next pay check in 2 weeks. Worse yet, her mother has not kept her health insurance up as was ordered under our divorce decree, so now if something happens to her, how can I pay the doctors?

I am a real father, involved in every aspect of my daughter's life. I go above and beyond what is required of me by law every day because she is my daughter, and I love her dearly. More needs to be done to protect fathers like me from being stereotyped and classified with all. All that it would take is the occasional phone call to keep some on how the child is being cared for in order to know how a non-custodial parent is involved in his/her childs life.

Unfortunately in this country the rights of honest loving mothers and fathers, and their children are being violated every day. We are supposed to be innocent until proven guilty, yet in so many cases, we are considered guilty until proven innocent. Even more disgusting is the fact that there is no recourse for those like me who are wronged. According to the woman I spoke to there is "nothing they can do." In the 8 years I have had to deal with this system, I have never once felt that it has in any way taken a single glimpse at the best interests of my daughter. Instead, with every dealing I have had with it, it has harmed her in some way.

While I can see how it could help some children, the vast majority of people I know who have had to deal with New York State for child custody and support issues feel exactly the same. That includes both custodial and non-custodial parents. Pretty much it all boils down to this. If I don't want to be considered a deadbeat dad, I have to sue for and win full custody of my daughter which in the end would be in her best interest. On the other hand what would be in her best interest if both her mother and I could be considered to be hard working, loving parents who are both looking out for her best interests.

Now here's how I feel about child custody and support. The current systems are defeating themselves. Girls go around getting themselves pregnant with men who have no intention of sticking around because a system is in place to make life easy on them. If the women don't want to get stuck raising children on their own, they shouldn't sleep with men who don't want their children. This system encourages women to repeat this pattern over and over rather encouraging them to embrace a family lifestyle. The problem then gets worse as these children then learn from their parent, repeat the problem over and over. These systems give people a way to give up and walk away without putting any effort in. As a hard working father, I say this sucks.